The Imposter [Review]

Perhaps the year’s most fascinating film thus far, The Imposter delves headfirst into a world of ambiguity; and, indeed, ambiguity is, for the majority of its 99 minute runtime, its sole offering to its audience. Not that that audience would want to remain passive anyway – the information unloaded in this docu-drama is, for the most part, only bereft of the answers it cannot give: but the manner and timeliness in which it reveals the information...

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The Dark Knight Rises [Review]

How many trilogies do you know where all three components stack up in equal measure? Possibly the only two that come close are the original Star Wars trilogy (Ewoks pending) and The Lord of the Rings.  It’s a rare thing, namely due to the curse of the threequel – see Spider-Man 3, Rush Hour 3 et al. And just as the release of the other of the summer’s superhero blockbusters was surrounded by one question (was it necessary?), so too is the...

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The Amazing Spider-Man [Review]

The main question on moviegoers’ minds with Marc Webb’s arachnid-hero reboot is, of course: is it worth it? But even after finally viewing the controversial remake, it’s still a tough one to answer. You know the setup – high-school student Peter Parker struggles to find himself, and then along comes a spider to do it for him. If you’ve seen Sam Raimi’s original Spider-Man film (which is still only a decade old) or indeed anything remotely related...

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Rock of Ages [Review]

Rock of Ages has transparent characters, a tired plot, and features the vocal talents of (among others) Tom Cruise, Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin. Why, then, is it so damn enjoyable? In fact, bar February’s The Muppets, this is quite possibly the most fun I’ve had at the cinema all year. Partly it’s down to the setting: 80s Hollywood, the Sunset Strip, and everything that comes with it. Think ballsy rock ballads, denim jackets, perms, and...

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Prometheories (Spoiler Alert!)

After watching Prometheus for the second time, I’ve come to a few conclusions about what could possibly have come before the film (prequel to the prequel, perhaps?). Take these with a grain of salt, as they’re the result of a few conversations on a bus ride home, but also beware: they’re chock full of spoilers. For a spoiler-free review, see this link... So as it turns out, the past is a lot more interesting than the future. Where will Dr...

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Prometheus [Review]

If you are reading this review, chances are you may not have yet seen Prometheus. If this is the case, allow me to offer you one piece of advice that should come before any other judgements I make of the film’s calibre: to heed Ridley Scott’s adamant stance that the film merely shares ‘strands of Alien DNA’. This is not Alien. This is not a remake, nor a reboot. Is it a prequel? That depends on your point of view. I feel the answer would perhaps...

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Hobo With A Shotgun [Review]

Timeliness is out of the window tonight, ladies and gentleman: with a film now over a year old up for scrutinisation. But when that film is rollicking grindhouse brawl Hobo With A Shotgun, I expect timeliness is the last thing on people’s minds. Rutger Hauer is the man behind the beard. You might remember him from such films as Blade Runner, Sin City and, um, Goal II: Living the Dream. Anyway, he’s acted in approximately 138 films (according...

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Casa de mi Padre [Review]

Casa de mi Padre is pretty much one of the strangest films you will ever see. The plot is weird, the characters are weird, the sex scene is balls-to-the-wall (though thankfully not balls-to-the-camera) batshit weird. Oh, and lest I forget, there’s that one scene where a coyote, a lion and two Bengal tigers fight it out. Yep. That happens. Probably. Matt Piedmont’s first cinematic release (following a handful of TV efforts), which is entirely...

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Avengers Assemble [Review]

This is it, then. The big one. Or at least, the big superhero one. Joss Whedon has assembled the greatest Marvel superheroes of the silver screen and I'm happy to tell you that it doesn't disappoint... too much. Since 2008, the various post-credits sequences and Nick Fury guest appearances in the likes of Iron Man, Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor have all been leading up to one climactic moment: this film, Avengers Assemble....

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The Wicker Tree [Review]

Originally, The Wicker Tree was to be called Cowboys for Christ - the name of the novel on which it is based - but studio execs pressured the filmmakers into renaming it. Presumably to target an existing fan base and cash in on the cult following The Wicker Man has attained since its release in 1973. So now, 39 years later, here we are: a film never destined to have more than an alliance of themes with The Wicker Man becomes a fully-fledged...

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Film of the Month #1: Avengers Assemble

Welcome, one and all, to Cryteria's first ever Film of the Month feature! Here entails info, trailers, predictions and more on what I think will be the greatest cinematic event of the month. What's that, you say? This accolade would make more sense at the end of the month, when the best film can be judged fairly after watching all on offer? Well, that would a) impede on my annual 'Best of' lists and b) be a fruitless endeavour, as reading my...

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Dismay! The Woman In Black Sequel Announced

Hammer Studios today announced a sequel to 2012 hit The Woman in Black, a film based on a book which didn't in itself have a sequel. Why? Because it didn't need one. And neither does the film. You can read my full review to see precisely what was wrong with James Watkins' The Woman in Black (and what was right with it - I did enjoy it to an extent), but allow me to sum it up for you anyway. As a film, it has its strengths - but falls...

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Interview with a filmmaker: Chas Whatmore

The 2012 First Light Awards, held at the British Film Institute on London’s Southbank on March 5th, celebrated the innovative talent of up and coming filmmakers in the UK - some as young as eight. I attended the ceremony for Top10Films.co.uk, interviewing the winners and presenters with the rest of the press. The winner of Best Film by Under-11s, Granny Mac’s Meringues, was produced by 66 youngsters from Burntisland Primary School in Scotland....

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Poll Results: Who's the best Bond?

Well, the results are in. It was a close call, but, according to you, the reader, the best 007 of the past 50 years is none other than… Pierce Brosnan. While not my first choice, that’s the point of polls; to see what everyone else thinks. Good old reliable Pierce pipped Craig and Connery to the post by just one and two votes respectively, with George Lazenby, Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton bringing up the rear with two, four and six votes...

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Assassin's Creed III Trailer

As promised on Friday, Ubisoft has revealed more details about the upcoming Assassin's Creed III, including a very tasty trailer. According to a press release from the series developers, the main protagonist is called Connor and is of British/Mohawk (Native American) descent. His full name is Ratohnaké:ton, which isn't exactly the easiest moniker to remember. Also, we never knew Native Americans had random punctuation in the middle of their...

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Why the Oscars are a shambles

As you’ll undoubtedly know by now, what with the internet going ablaze over the event, the 84th Academy Awards happened last week. I stayed up 'till 5am to watch, but as you’ll notice, I haven’t bothered writing a lengthy post about how fabulous the winners were and how terrible it was for the losers but how delightfully sportsmanlike they were anyway and how all the ladies looked glamorous and how Angeline Jolie’s leg made more headlines than...

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